IT would be so easy to believe that the Queen and her eldest son don't love one another.
Any observer of this strange, dysfunctional family might even conclude that the Queen and Charles don't actually like each other that much ...
There are no photos of them displaying any normal family affection, let alone evidence of the Queen showing any warmth towards Camilla, a woman her son has loved for years.
We had a bland statement about how "happy" the Queen and Prince Philip are about the up-coming nuptials - but where's the evidence?
And then came the extraordinary announcement that the Queen would not even attend the civil ceremony at the Guildhall in Windsor.
Whatever her reasons for this extraordinary snub, I know - from 40 years of observing them - that although the Queen and her eldest son have never enjoyed a close relationship, there is respect and a kind of love there.
Most of the evidence is otherwise, though.
How many times do you see them together in photographs?
How often do they meet for a friendly family lunch. Or even a chat over a cup of tea? When did you last catch them enjoying an event, any event, together?
And even when they do meet - despite their London palaces being just a mile apart - the arrangements are made by their staff.
The Prince has to make an appointment to see his own mother, for goodness sake! The truth is that they meet for Christmas at Sandringham, for Easter at Windsor (although not lately) and at Balmoral during the summer holidays - but not for too long.
Over the past 20 or so years a depressing rivalry has arisen between the separate courts - one for the Queen and the other down the road for the Prince of Wales.
It is a daily skirmish of egos as one set of courtiers plays off the other, one court heavily promoting their boss at the expense of the other.
And this week the Queen's courtiers are smugly gleeful. I've been amused to hear the reaction of Buckingham Palace staff to the agonies of their pals in Charles's household.
"This marriage is very much their problem," said one elderly, usually discreet gentleman of Charles's flunkies. "Don't ask me to help get them off the hook."
These politics merely maintain the chasm between mother and son, but the rift goes far beyond that - and has done since Charles was born.
For the first years of his life his mother was not yet Queen so she was able to find time for her son and for Princess Anne.
But even then, she was driven more by duty than motherhood. She would think nothing of leaving her one-year-old son for weeks at a time to carry out engagements with her new husband.
She was not around when Charles cut his first tooth or took his first steps.
"Mummy has an important job to do," the young Prince was told.
Charles soon learned that although he was loved after a fashion, he would always come second in his mother's priorities.
Friends and family remember his as "a very sensitive little boy, very kind, very sweet".
But they also recall how distant the Queen was towards her son. Said one: "She's not very tactile. A child wants a mother to be emotional. Hugs, kisses - and that's not what the Queen is good at."
But however tough she was on her son, his father was considered brutal towards Charles.
Largely parentless himself, Prince Philip constantly fails to understand his son's sensitivity. He is outgoing, Charles is introspective. Philip is gregarious, Charles awkward. Philip thrived at public school, Charles loathed it.
The Duke has dominated Charles throughout his 57 years.
"Get on and marry Diana" was his command in 1981, and Charles complied. "Get on and divorce" was the Queen and Duke's command in 1992. Again, Charles agreed.
In the end, however it would be wrong to suggest that the Queen and Charles don't much love one another.
They simply have different standpoints.
The Prince - as selfish a man as you could ever meet - wants the woman who has been at his side for more than 30 years to be his wife. The Queen, selfless and driven by duty, views Camilla as a problem to the monarchy.
And when Elizabeth II must choose between the welfare of her family and that of her Kingdom, she will unhesitatingly chose the latter.
And there is much about this present situation that fills her with despair.
Despair - and fear that her eldest son's behaviour threatens those very values she has given her life to.
